Within a child's eyes

Within a child's eyes
there is something that innocently replies
through the wind their tender thoughts are hurled
Oh, save our children from this wicked world
I am in awe of children's delicate fellowship
from the living fountain I sip
an angel did descend on their playground of laughter
and the promise of Heaven did follow after
God drew the bolt on nature and it's secrecies
As I wept with Heaven
It's tears did fill the land and seas
save our children from the snares of the enemy
just spend a little more time with me
blowing bubbles in the wind
I don't want the day to end
chasing geese in the park
put me safely to bed when it is dark
Turn off the T.V.
and read a book to me
protect me from what's out there
love me, guide me, show me that you care
can we go for an ice cream?
when I sleep happy thoughts will I dream
Oh child of mine, say your prayers before you go to bed
let thank you Jesus be the last words you said.

Rest for the night

Once we crossed the bridge into Slidell we drove around for about forty minutes until we found a place to rest. We could not afford to stay anywhere other than in the van. We came to a rundown hotel. Naturally, it was vacant at the time. We pulled in the parking lot and looked around the place before we decided it was time to rest. Scott drove the whole entire trip and I knew he was weary. I just enjoyed the scenery and took a nap here and there on the way down. While he fell asleep in the drivers seat I got out to make a phone call to my wife to let her know I made it. I then came back to the van and found a somewhat comfortable spot on the rear floor of the van. There wasn't much room to get too comfortable due to the shelving and tools in the van. I've slept on much worse surfaces. I didn't care. I was so tired that pavement would have been comfortable.

Crossing the bridge

After two months New Orleans still looked as if it had been hit by devastation only days before. The waters had receded, but it left debris scattered in every direction you could see. Homes were vacant and dilapidated. There was not a soul to be found. It was as if a tornado had hit. That was the only thing I could compare it to. It looked like a war zone and we were on the front lines. As we drove across the bridge reality began to sink in. This was definitely something bigger than I could have ever imagined.
As we crossed the bridge linking New Orleans to Slidell I noticed that there were only two lanes. Apparently the bridge took a big hit as well. I thought to myself, this must have been some powerful force to be able to damage a concrete bridge.

Hurricane Katrina continued

You know, it was exciting because I have read and heard about Louisiana through books and movies, especially New Orleans. I tried not to let my mind get the best of me and I wanted to stay focused on the real motive for why I was going to Louisiana, financial prosperity. Who wouldn't in my line of work! This was no vacation, but yet at the same time it was like a dream come true. Now that I look back on the experience it seems so far away like a childhood memory.
On the way down our second stop was in good ole southwestern Ohio. We were in my part of the country. As we drove past the exit I usually got off to go to my hometown of Hamilton, Ohio I thought how it would be great to stop in and see my friends and relatives, but I knew time was precious. We got to Cincinnati and stopped for food,fuel and nature. It took about four and a half hours to get that far, about 275 miles to be exact. Our next stop was in Kentucky. Yeah, I have relatives there too. And no, we didn't stop to see anyone. There was no time for anything but eating,refueling and restroom breaks. Not necessarily in that order either. This was pretty much our routine during the whole trip. I'm sure you've guessed that by now.
In all, it took eight stops for the necessities and fuel, eighteen hours and one thousand miles to reach our destination. It was around midnight the next evening that we arrived in the now not so glamorous city of New Orleans. You could smell the funk from the mold and trash piled up on the curbs. I never saw anything like it. There were vehicles piled up everywhere we looked. You could see the waterlines on the houses and vehicles where the water level had reached. It felt like the end of the world and all was chaotic. We drove around for about a half an hour dazed and lost until three police cruisers and a military vehicle pulled up on us. They had their weapons drawn while asking us for identification. They had told us that Marshall Law had been declared upon the entire state. The fact that New Orleans was notorious for murders was an incentive to leave immediately. There was also a curfew of 8:00 p.m.. Of course, we weren't aware of that. I guess we should have done a little bit more research before we left. I think we were just in shock at the whole experience thus far. We had no idea as to what we were getting ourselves into. After our run in with the police and the military we left there in a hurry. Once we got back on track we headed north for Slidell, Louisiana by way of the Lake Pontchartrain bridge.

Bound for Louisiana

It took much time with my wife to discuss the trip to Louisiana. It was about four weeks to be exact. During that that time I saw news clips and stories in the headlines on a regular basis. This lured me even more so to do something. I wanted to help those people in Louisiana. That fact alone convinced my wife and I that I must go. I invited a friend of the family who also happened to be my boss at the time. His Name was Scott DeVore. I worked for him as a general laborer in the area of shingle roofing, which is why we were going down to Louisiana in the first place. I would have left already if it weren't for him debating over and over in his mind if he was going to go or not. But that was okay, this was not an easy decision to make. He too, had children he was leaving behind. His daughter was my wife's niece. That's how I came to know him. Once he made the decision to go we met with his pastor and he connected us to a church in Louisiana where we would stay once we arrived. I had the pastor of our church pray for me and my family. I said goodbye to my wife and children the day before I left, packed what I needed for the trip, made phone calls and prayed. Yes, I prayed. After all, the final destination was only around a thousand miles away and we were driving an older model van. We left at 3:30 a.m. in the morning toward the end of October. It was raining hard and heavy that morning, a little preparation for the weather down south I suppose. I had $35.00 in my pocket and I knew that wouldn't get me far. We were headed to no man's land, strange and unfamiliar territory. Scott and I were both stepping out of our comfort zones no doubt.
Our first stop was somewhere in Northeastern Ohio for a gas fill up before we hit the road. I knew in the back of my mind that this trip was going to be more than I had envisioned. I was excited, yet, at the same time I was doubtful of my decision to leave. One might ask, Did I make this choice out of desperation? Am I going to let my family down? I thought, man if this doesn't work out financially I will have made my wife and I look like fools again. It would be another embarrassing and shameful mistake on my part. I just put it in someone else's hands, if you know what I mean. Prosperity wasn't happening on the home front and I had nothing to lose. Or so I thought.

What works for me

I tried the atheist view. I've tried the satanist view and last but not least, I have tried the religious view. Neither of them worked for me. I knew there was something better out there, for me that is. How dare I share my thoughts on anything? There might be a sniper out there in computer world wanting to take me down and shred my beliefs because he disagrees with my thinking. I might get corrected from time to time too. I don't have time to waste debating on who is right or wrong. Life is just too short for such things. I just know what works for me. Though it may sound contradictory in terms God found me. And he worked for me, not the preacher man, but God himself. I didn't want religion. I wanted to know the one who created me, who gave me life. I wanted to know him more. I wanted a relationship with him not the church. Anyway, you get it by now I'm sure. During my very interesting journey I've had to die to self. You know , self seeking, selfish, don't care about anyone else......selfish motives, what's in it for me? I don't want praise for anything, but results in my life and someone else's. Actions speak louder than words don't they? If you want to win the race, do what you do best. Do what you know you are called to do and do it with the best of your ability. Go on, I dare ya!

Prior to leaving for my trip to Louisiana I had received several calls from a cousin wanting to give me an opportunity to come down there and work for him. When I heard of this I related it to the dreams I had three years before. At the time I was looking for work and it seemed like a good time to go. I knew I had to discuss it with my wife first. I wasn't sure how she would respond. We talked about it and looked at every aspect of me being gone for an indefinite time. It would be the first time I would be away from my wife and children, which was the most difficult issue I had to face. I knew that I needed to work and the job market wasn't looking too good in my area.

Needles on the sidewalk

Pushing the needle in
to kill the pain
that hides beneath the skin.
Dysfunction, malfunction
emtions begin to drain.
battered and broken
carrying baggage around, not knowing where your goin
there's no one who'll listen, no one to talk.
And you discard it like needles on the sidewalk.

copyright 2009 James Ray Stewart

Every kid needs a good pair of shoes

My heart cries out for the hungry child, not the one over in another country,
but the one down the street from you and me.
A kid is walking his beat
looking for something to eat.
little sister needs fed
and she has no place to lay her weary head.
Not far from there,
is someone who used to care.
Drinking memories away
hoping not to live another day.
His shoes, her shoes, issues
every kid needs a good pair of shoes.

copyright 2009 James Ray Stewart

Thanks Ben/The Riverbank Boys

Thanks Ben

I recently became reacquainted with one of the Riverbank boys back home. Just talking to him on the phone reminded me of how and why we became friends. He's the kind of guy that gives you that push when you need it most. He may not even know what he does, but it's a gift he has. It's like when you get off track and out of nowhere there's a guide to steer you in the right direction. His voice is a familiar voice that let's you know it's OK to be you. It's like when you leave your hometown and come back from time to time and you see the familiarity you remember that inspired you to think outside the box. Thanks! Ben, from an old friend. The Riverbank Boys